Brandy, What Are You Doing with Chris Brown?

Dearest Brandy,

You are a woman who has a lot to be proud of and one day, if we were ever to become friends in real life who share sushi and stroll through IKEA, I’d love to hear about what it’s like to live a life with such talent and style. I know you started your career when you were 15 and now that you are 33, if your reputation was a human it could vote in the upcoming election. You’ve been around the block and I trust you know what’s up.

This brings me to why I have chosen to contact you for the first time because your single “Put It Down” features Chris Brown. Brandy, B, Homegirl… Why’d you go with C.Breezy? You know what I’m talking about. You are a role model for multiple generations and you pick him to act like the thug that he is in your video all while trying to distract me with splatter paint special effects and banging choreography. You actually illustrated how I feel about the whole situation:

He is also not very respectful, he should recognize that you are a goddess and not some video honey. You know he was five years old when you made your first music video?

Anyways, your video really put me on a roller coaster of emotions. The cars! Dancing in fabulous afros! Conflicted feelings about Chris Brown wearing nothing but gold chains! With my last sigh I beg of you one final question – Did Ray J approve?

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